Loving The Unlovable in Our Homes and Families
Introduction
Loving the unlovable is not natural. It is only possible by the power of Holy Spirit working in our hearts. Agape love is not about feelings. Jesus did not say “when I was in prison, you felt embarrassed for me”. Agape love even goes beyond actions to the reasons behind the actions. Agape love is described in 1 Corinthians 13 with the God-kind of mindset, attitudes and ways of thinking demonstrated by actions. Agape love is selfless, sacrificial and unconditional. God is love, as His children, we have to love regardless of the circumstances or situations.
Our homes and families are meant to be havens of love and peace but unfortunately this is not always the case. We all sometimes act in ways that are unlovable, saying and doing things that hurt our spouses, children and those around us. Sometimes couples that started on the foundation of agape love may also have derailed. We may also have our extended family members that may be unlovable. When we are faced with these situations what do we do?
Watch and Pray
We need to be observant. The first unloving act may be a genuine mistake but if not immediately tackled, can become a habit. Immediately you observe an unloving, don’t wait, begin to pray. Pray for your own heart to be filled with the love God, to remain calm and ask for wisdom to know what to say and do.
Pray also for the person behaving lovingly for God to work in their hearts; drawing unbelievers to themselves and sanctifying believers to come more like Christ. Remember, no one is beyond the grace of God. -Colossians 3: 12-14, Philippians 1:9-11.
Reevaluate Yourself
Ask the Holy Spirit to search you and reveal how you may have contributed directly or indirectly to the unloving act. Ask for grace to see things from the other person’s perspective. Repent if necessary. -Psalm 139:23.
Forgive
The first definition God gives of love is to be long-suffering. We must forgive all hurts as Christ has forgiven us whether we perceive the hurt to be deliberate or not. Don’t allow bitterness to invade your heart.- Ephesians 4:27. Engage the person to discuss the issue where necessary.- Colossians 3:13.
Don’t Revenge
The worst thing you can do in an unloving situation is to revenge. When you revenge, you start fighting for yourself and God cannot fight for you. -Romans 12:19
Bless
Be intentional in finding specific ways to bless, serve and encourage. Seek to please the other person not yourself. Love is demonstrated in words and actions. Encourage with your words. If you can give appropriate gifts, at the right timing, please do so. Know that love always overcomes, because God is love. The love in you is greater than the hatred or hurt in them.
Conclusion
Many people have been converted to Christ through the loving actions of Christians. We glorify God as we allow His love to shine through our lives to those that are unlovable. With God’s grace and power, we can love the unlovable in our homes and families and display Christlikeness.
